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All of us are afraid. In fact, fear may be the most common emotion of our lives. For virtually all of us, the first response we have to fear is to hide it, deny it, not let anyone see it. We are afraid of fear, afraid, especially as leaders, that if we let others see our fear they will reject us, lose respect for us, and take advantage of us or even reject us.

So it’s surprising to hear Paul admit his fear up front, at the beginning of his companion epistles, I and II Corinthians. In both letters his authority is at stake, yet he puts his status on the line when he says, “I was with you in weakness and in fear and in much trembling (I Cor. 2:3).” Later he states that he experienced “. . . fighting without and fear within (II Cor. 7:5).”

It’s little wonder that Paul was afraid when he got to Corinth. Driven from Philippi to Thessalonica to Berea and through Athens, he ended up in Corinth, the last stop in Greece before boarding a boat and sailing for home. Shortly after arriving in Corinth and proclaiming the Gospel there, he was in the middle of turmoil. Staring physical violence in the eye, he had every reason to be afraid until Jesus appeared to him and assured him that he was there to bring many to the truth. On this basis he stayed and persevered despite the overwhelming idolatry and evil of the city.

One of the many truths we learn from Paul’s ministry is that leadership is hardly a triumphal march to the mountaintop. More often than not it is a struggle through the darkness of a deep valley, even the valley of the shadow of death through which Paul ultimately walked.

In several places Paul acknowledged fear, inadequacy, and need, but he never pulled back from God’s call, no matter how overwhelming it was. Still he could only make the decision to stand against fear by being in situations where he felt out of his depth because he faced fear. God puts leaders in places where we are forced to confront fear so He can teach us to turn fear into faith. We not only see this in Paul’s life; we also see it in the disciples as they faced overwhelming fear and terror for their lives. How do you respond when you face such great fear? Can you stand against it by faith or do you give in to it by conforming to the demands of those around you?

To stand for the Lord you must first spend time with the Lord, lots of time, searching your heart and releasing it to Him, focusing on Him, releasing ourselves to Him, yielding ourselves to Him and His purposes and His will. We must be prepared to lose everything for Him so we can gain everything for Him. Anything less than this will cost us everything for Him. This is the decision of a lifetime, and we can only make it as we prepare ourselves by giving ourselves to Him in small ways over our daily lives.  God teaches us to face fear so we can overcome its attack by learning that it cannot overcome His faithfulness no matter how afraid we are.

At Leader Formation we focus on the leader rather than leadership.

Effective leadership is our aim, but we have learned that leadership collapses when competent leaders lack godly character. God has used leadership from the beginning of time, but time after time we see leadership fail because leaders fail. Look at Adam, Abraham, Moses, David, Solomon, Peter, Mark and on throughout history, and you will see that leadership is flawed because leaders are flawed.  As one of our board members, Dr. Gary Wood, declared, “Skills are essential but not sufficient.”

Leader Formation exists to strengthen leadership by forming leaders. As we see it, the heart of the leader is the heart of a leadership and our aim is to form the hearts of leaders through the Holy Spirit. That’s why we call ourselves Leader Formation.

We accomplish our aim by focusing on the Scriptures. We are not interested in exporting American solutions to problems global leaders do not have, but we do know that biblical solutions to problems leaders around the globe do have will make them effective in leadership. The first of our emphases is the four heart factors of a leader, four factors that determine whether a leader serves God or self, found in

I Kings 11-12.

The Four Heart Factors of a Leader (I Kings 11-12)

The Power Factor—Leaders who pursue their power rather than God’s power achieve much but lose everything (I Kings 11:1-43).

The Accountability Factor—Leaders who have Nathans in their lives become Davids because they are transformed from shame to success (I Kings 11:4).

The Flip-Flop Factor—Leaders who rely on God for their convenience and on themselves for their accomplishments trade His greatness for their smallness.

( 1 Kings 12:1-15)

The Fear Factor—Leaders who strive to overcome fear by trusting themselves rather than God always fail (I Kings 12:25-33).

What role do these factors play in you as a leader? All of us long for power, seek to avoid accountability, use God for our own advantage and ourselves for our own advancement, and promote ourselves to advance our cause. This means at least some of the time we strive for our cause in Jesus’ name. If any of these four factors influence your leadership, God will do the same thing with you that He did with Solomon, David, Jeroboam, and Rehoboam. He will cause your drive to take down your leadership. Still He will take your repentance to restore your leadership. Repent early and often and God will restore you constantly and permanently.

It was the spring of the year when leaders took their troops out to defend their territory and protect their country. But this spring David, Israel’s leader, did not take his troops into battle. He had spent seventeen years on the run for his life from King Saul when he lived in caves in the wilderness though he was no risk to Saul. He had opportunities to take Saul’s life, but he would not touch God’s leader.

Now he was king and established in Jerusalem with a new and beautiful house, a gift from a very dear friend, and seemed to have no desire to live the hard life of a military general any more. Besides he had a trustworthy commander and experienced troops he could rely on, so there was no need for him to live on rough ground in primitive shelters when he could enjoy the pleasure of his new home.

So David did not go into battle with his troops that spring. Instead he lived at ease in his new home overlooking Jerusalem, the capital of his kingdom.

Late one afternoon David went up to the rooftop of his home and looked down on his city. Unexpectedly he saw a beautiful woman bathing herself on the roof of her home, where she was purifying herself according to the Lord’s direction in order to obey God. Suddenly attracted, David discovered she was Bathsheba, wife of Uriah, one of his soldiers.  He sent for her and slept with her. Not too long after that she sent word to him saying, “I am pregnant.” Hardly good news for the king. He ordered Uriah to come to Jerusalem, obtained a battle report from him, and sent him home to his wife. Uriah, however, would not go home as long as the ark and his fellow soldiers lived in tents on the battlefield.  So David sent him back to war with a death warrant in his hand—directions for his general, Joab, to put Uriah in the most violent part of the battle where he was certain to die. And Uriah died.

When leaders stop leading they displease the Lord. When success becomes a leader’s greatest desire, when the comfort of accomplishment becomes a leader’s greatest drive, when a leader’s self-image is defined by his greatest achievements, he is facing his greatest danger.  David had committed the two worst crimes he could, adultery and murder, both subject to death by God. God spared his life, but David never had another spring when he could stay home. From this point on he was threatened by enemies and forced to fight battles he never wanted to face. No leader can become caught up in his success and remain successful—the leader who is caught up in success will crash in failure.

What dominates your thoughts—your success or God’s purpose? The leader who thinks about his success rather than God’s purpose is like David—staying home rather than leading in battle. And the leader who does this faces greater battles than he ever thought possible.  

If you are a successful leader, as David was and if you are caught up in your comfort rather God’s demands, as David became, or if you are enjoying your achievements rather than God’s call in your life, as David did, you are taking the greatest risk of your life, the risk of God’s discipline for as long as you live.

Rejoice in the blessing of God’s success through you, but when the next springtime comes, be prepared to lead in God’s battles for you lest you are forced to face God’s discipline in your life.

What if you were told that you were in charge of a major project but for years you were not given the role that was promised to you? What if you were resisted at every turn, never trusted, and attacked by those who had authority over you? That would be very difficult, wouldn’t it? Yet that’s exactly what happened to David.

Samuel suddenly appeared at David’s home, demanded to see him, anointed him as king, and left, but everything was as it always had been. He was still the youngest child in his family and—it appears—the least respected member of all, and this was even after he had served Saul as a musician who brought peace to Saul’s soul. All of this was only the beginning of seventeen years of enmity from Saul during which David was forced to run for his life and live in the desert south of Jerusalem, mostly in a cave. Some throne room that was!

Think about David’s situation when his father sent him to take food to his brothers as they were fighting the Philistines for Israel against the Philistines, and he faced the giant Goliath. When he arrived, heard Goliath rail against God, and questioned who he was, his brother put him down and told him to go home. Hardly the way you talk to a king. God used the Goliath event to promote David, and David became the head of the men of war and earned the admiration of Israel but, after all of this, Saul became jealous of him and tried to destroy him. This is why David had to run for his life and live in caves most of the time while Saul was alive.

All of this was part of God’s leader formation process for David.

In God’s leader formation process, the first thing He did for David was to prepare him through his time as a shepherd boy. By giving him sheep to care for, his father and his brothers to hold him accountable, and wild animals to confront him, God taught David how to lead by trusting Him to face overwhelming danger and enemies. This prepared him to provide for his people, to be accountable to others who judged him, and to face great danger, three realities that he encountered all his life.

Then with Goliath, his time with Israel’s enemies, as well as his time with his personal opponents, God proved David was His man even in seasons of injustice when rebellious opponents sought to defeat him at every turn. While he was discouraged at times and questioned what the Lord was doing, David never wavered from God to trust himself and this gave him great recognition in Israel.

Finally God promoted David to be the leader of His people. David became the king of Israel, the unifier of God’s nation, and the ancestor of the Messiah. Amazing isn’t it that the least valued in his family and an unknown shepherd boy in Israel became the seed of Messiah who was born of the line of David, our Savior.

God does not intend to exalt us as He did David, but He wants us to be His leaders in these difficult days. He has been working through our lives to prepare us to lead for him. Consider what God did in your life as He used you and blessed you and prepared you to lead. Consider what God is doing now as He strengthens your trust in Him and builds your reputation as His growing leader. And, if you are a recognized leader in your era of influence, thank Him for preparing, proving, and promoting you and continually purify yourself to be His leader.  This is God’s leader formation process, His way of making you the leader He wants you to be.

Many of my wilderness experiences have been self-imposed. They grew out of drivenness within me; the fruit of selfish ambition, fear, and the anger that created unmet needs in my heart. And those needs should never have been met. That means that many of my wilderness experiences could have been avoided if only . . .

If only I were aware of my drivenness; if only I had realized my ambition—pursued, sincerely I believe in the name of Jesus—was mixed with the slag of my glory even as I sought His glory; if only I had understood that my fear actually was pride and my anger was anger. I carried inner anger without even knowing what it was. I gradually came to understand that these feelings within me were harmful and that prayer alone could bring me release. By then I had been a pastor for probably four or five years and realized I needed help from other leaders to be free. That’s when I asked the elders of our church to meet with me early every Sunday morning to pray because that’s how I gained some deliverance along the way.

So it was that I entered into burnout and edged toward depression for a period of time early in my pastorate. So it was that I struggled with comparison and competition and feelings of failure because I wasn’t as good as others or I hadn’t reached the standard of success I set for myself. Now I realize that that standard of success was self-imposed and not from God or anyone else; now I realize that it doesn’t make any difference whether I’m as good as others; now I realize that those wilderness experiences were self-imposed and unnecessary.

I don’t like to project myself on other leaders, but, as I have talked about these concerns in cultures all over the world, I have found many fellow leaders who identify with me because they’re in the same self-imposed wilderness. I’m just a little bit ahead of them. As I talk about these wilderness experiences, I find them responding, recognizing their own struggles and seeking freedom. So what can leaders do when they find themselves in the self-imposed wilderness?

Find the joy of the wilderness, the rugged beauty, the blooming wild flowers, the cooling shade, and the refreshing oases of flowing, refreshing water. How?

1. Stop denying the truth about you and fall on your face before God in prayer, acknowledging that virtually everything you blame on others comes from you.
2. Read the Bible in the light of your responsibility and God’s grace and make Christ your life, not only the One you talk about, but the One you depend on to live.
3. Find someone you can talk with honestly and tell him/her the truth about you and listen to what you hear back no matter how much it hurts, even if you must travel hours and hours to get to him.

While many, probably most, of my wilderness experiences have been self-imposed and unnecessary, they have been critical to my growth as a man, my sensitivity as a husband and a father, and my impact as a leader. I wish I could have avoided them, but I couldn’t make it without them. So, I encourage you to keep on wandering in your wilderness. Sooner or later you’ll get to an oasis of refreshing rest. But after you’re there a while, you’ll start over again with another season in the wilderness—and that will be the best place you can be if you want to be God’s kind of leader.